Good development of the idea. Think about having two separate verses, one about lifesavers and the other about lollipops, instead of combining them in...

Welcome, Balruth. James pretty much hit the important points. I like the song. The music fits the story. I'd like to see the lyrics too. It's much eas...

Thanks for the comments. No argument here. I spent a lot of time on that chorus and am not happy with it. There aren't many things that rhyme with "pe...

Clever and entertaining. Your family might even like this one.

A good start. I like the two meanings of "support" in the chorus.Think about some more concrete verses around not spending time with your family and t...

How about this to replace v. 2?You even got more complex with time.Somehow gradually changed your habits.I liked fine clothes and wineSo you gave up y...

Hi, James. Thanks for taking the time to comment. I will definitely think about some of those things for a future rewrite. The idea was to use as many...

Lots of points for using so many of the words on the list.I think the change in tempo would work better if it wasn't so abrupt. A bridge would help. E...

I like the music. I like the individual verses and the chorus. But the story seems disconnected. I don't understand how the singer is a genie and love...

Thanks for the critiques. No time to re-record right now, but here's my latest revision on the lyrics:verse:I find myself a bit surprisedThat tears ke...

The herd idea doesn't work for me. Otherwise, it's a good start.

I like the chord progressions and the playing. Simple but appropriate.Hard to come up with a rhyme for "silence," but I don't think that this really f...