This song is great. I can even imagine the choreography. Nice work!

How about mashing the two countdown verses into one bridge?

Thanks Margaret, I picked up those typos. I'll try to do a recording of this song over the weekend. I'm thinking of trying to come up with some indust...

Nope not Ozzy. Thanks for pointing out that typo. I'm all for odd lyrics but heart ATTACH? I don't think so.

Nope not JR Cash or Roy Orbison. All I meant by singing like a choke is singing that sounds like choking.I've reworked a few of the lyrics for flow an...

Ok here's the song: I aimed for folky ironic, i got what i got. Oh when I was a child my grandma called to meShe said I have a secret for you and it w...

The song is really strong lyrically. The one downside, to me linking the words beggarman and thief conjures up the childrens rhyme and I fear that it ...

I find it interesting how much you've used the word "fancy." I see that your location says United States, but I've rarely heard anyone from the US usi...

I just posted an MP3 of this song, and I'll be really curious to hear everyone's feedback. Take a listen.

Clever. For some reason as I was reading through I wanted to repeat the last lines of each verse again. With a good instrumental hook between the vers...

Sounds great, a few lines seemed like they were tough to fit such as:"somewhere between dread and surprise"and"We've been together seems like forever"...

I can think of a few changes that I think you should consider.First of all musically, the melody of the last two lines of the chorus are pretty much a...